Bella Furst Week 1 | Ranking Chicken and Why Chicken Nuggets are the Best

I love chicken. Like a lot.  

    I don't think I can verbally describe to another person the serotonin rush I get when eating chicken. This might sound like I'm just lying or that I'm crazy (which isn't wrong), but when I say chicken is my favorite food, I mean that. I think that especially since I stopped eating red meat and majority of the protein I consume is either chicken or eggs, it's only since made my opinions stronger. Ironically, it took my mom so long to get younger Bella to like chicken, which is funny now and she still makes fun of me for it. So let's talk about chicken.

#15: Boiled Chicken

I don't even know how to describe a person that likes boiled chicken. If you like boiled chicken, your personality is probably just about as bland as the food! I think the only excuse to eat boiled chicken is if you made chicken soup and there's just chunks of boiled chicken in there. Other than that? If I see you eating boiled chicken, it's on sight.

#14: Ground Chicken

Hm. The thing about ground chicken is just that there isn't much to say? It's not quite ground beef, not quite ground turkey, and you best believe if I see you buying that ground chicken-beef Frankenstein mixture, I will scream at you and then start crying. Ground chicken isn't inherently bad, but it's not particularly good either. If you're making fajitas, empanadas, tacos, etc.-- fine. That makes sense. And in that case, I'd rank ground chicken even higher (probably around 7 or 8). But don't let me see you making a godforsaken chicken burger or chicken meatballs because I will floor it. Is ground chicken bad? No. Should you eat it? If you feel like it. But it's just mediocre compared to other chickens on this list.

#13: Rotisserie

Why? Literally WHY? If you are buying chicken in the first place, why on God's beautiful green Earth would you choose rotisserie??? I just don't get it!! Does it taste bad? No? But is it good enough to pay money for? Also no!!! If you're buying chicken at a store, for the love of God at least buy a barbecue sauce chicken breast or leg quarter. Rotisserie just isn't it, I'm sorry. 

(Even Gordon Ramsay disapproves. I asked him, trust me.)

#12: Chicken Sausage

Chicken sausage is another one of those chickens that's not inherently bad, but most people just cook it wrong. So wrong. SO, so, so WRONG! What's so hard about cooking sausage? Just slice that bad baby up, add some vegetables, don't be tasteless and add seasoning, and BAM! That's it. So easy. But no. Y'all just need to go ahead and ruin it.

Open letter to chicken sausage:

Dear Chicken Sausage,

You aren't bad. You don't taste bad. But I'm so sorry that nobody knows how to cook you into a dish that doesn't taste like feet and garlic. We're going to get you higher on this list someday.

Signed,

A passionate chicken lover

But seriously, if you can cook chicken sausage into a dish that tastes good, kudos to you! And on that note, chicken sausage's ranking is entirely dependent on bad cooking skills.

#11: Shredded Chicken

The ideology behind shredded chicken, for me, is similar to that of ground chicken. In certain things, I love it. I really do. This isn't about shredded chicken being bad, but she just doesn't sit with chicken nuggets and grilled chicken at the lunch table. Shredded chicken is probably a band kid. Regardless of how shredded chicken associates in a high school setting, it's a pretty good dish. I've definitely had my fair share of good and bad shredded chicken. I like it particularly in like a burrito. Burritos are good, y'all should get on that. But yeah, that's shredded chicken

#10: Chicken Salad(s)

We hit top 10! Not that that's a big deal though, as there's only 15 generic chickens in this list. I expect some backlash on this one, but this ranking is more of a person preference thing. In general, I'm not really a salad person. I love vegetables cooked into a stir fry, stew, etc., but lettuce is hardly even deserving on the title vegetable and that's a primary ingredient in a large chunk of salads. Anyways, chicken salad. Another one on the list of "not bad" and I know a lot of people who'd rank this top 5, but this is my list and I don't care about their top 5. Is chicken salad bad? No. I could eat it if you gave it to me and I definitely wouldn't complain, but it's not something I'd go out of my way to make or order at a restaurant. Sadly, that's all there is to say about chicken salads. If you like chicken salad and think you can change my mind with a recipe/restaurant recommendation, go ahead :) But I wish you good luck, soldier.

#9: Chicken Dumplings

Ah! I love chicken dumplings. I have little criticism here. The only thing that's kinda meh about dumplings is that 1) they can get hard/tough easily and 2) sometimes they just totally fall apart. I'm not looking to eat dumplings as "chicken stuffing ft. dough." Sadly, chicken dumplings aren't one of those chickens I could eat every day and that's also why I rank it lower. Some chickens I could eat 3 meals a day, but dumplings will never be that. So they belong at #9, sorry dumplings.

#8: Chicken Wings

I was considering listing this much lower because honestly, not the biggest fan of wings. They're one of those foods I can acknowledge as good, but the mess just so isn't worth it. I'm a relatively clean-eater in that I hate messy food and that's all wings are. I feel like I need to wash my hands and face after eating wings and just... no. Do they taste good? 100% and they're so versatile that if you manage to screw up chicken wings, I have lost faith in humanity. This is ranked at #8 because I'm petty and hate mess. If chicken wings are your #1, I get it, but I ain't about that lifestyle.

(Sorry about the terrible quality Sex and the City meme, omg)

#7: Seasoned Chicken Breasts/Thighs

Yes. Yes, yes, yes!!! I love chicken that's got some fun seasonings, whether it's spicy or savory. It's such a well-rounded food with so many possibilities, unlike boiled chicken (disgusting!). Seasoned chicken is a staple of my diet and I love it. Why is it ranked low? Simply because there's other chickens that are better. Could I eat these daily? Probably. Do I want to? Not really. Love them, love their versatility, but they get a Bella-score of 4.0 stars (out of 5)*.

*Don't even ask what a Bella-score is because I don't know either.

#6: Chicken Kebabs

Chicken kebabs were a gift. Chaya's mom makes these chicken kebabs that are so good, so shout-out to Judy Brenner. But seriously, chicken kebabs are great and I don't trust you if you dislike them. The only thing nerve-wracking is the fear of burning them, but that's with anything, isn't it? Kebabs are unique, a food of the gods, if you will. They sit at #6 because, once again, there are just better chickens. Sorry to do you so dirty chicken kebabs :( but you're not as delicious as my homeboy chicken nuggets.

#5: Chicken Soup

Chicken soup is a comfort food. I would trust chicken soup with my life. I'd let chicken soup watch my bag at a party. I don't think anyone hates chicken soup. That's just how good it is. It's good when you're sick physically or just sick of the world! We love chicken soup in this house.

#4: Popcorn Chicken

Okay, let's get this straight first. Popcorn chicken and chicken nuggets are not the same and stay away from me if you have that close-minded chicken approach. In any case, popcorn chicken is almost the best. I could easily eat my own body weight in popcorn chicken and straight up not realize it. That may be part of the problem, though. I always eat way too much whenever I make or get popcorn chicken, but it's still easily a personal favorite.

#3: Fried Chicken

This is what I mean when I say, "Why buy a rotisserie chicken?" You can buy an entire chicken fried and the cost is so similar, like why wouldn't you? Fried chicken is so good. It's not quite a nugget because you have the inconvenience of those pesky bones trying to ruin the chicken experience, but all in all, delicious. Wouldn't trade fried chicken for anything. Ever. Like chicken soup, it is a comfort food.

#2: Grilled Chicken

Oh. My. GOD! Grilled chicken is just, it. It's IT. Grilled chicken will always be good, especially if you're one of those people eating healthier. Grilled chicken is insanely good, especially if marinated properly, and isn't as unhealthy as fried chicken or it's billion variations. I could eat grilled chicken at any time of day and just cry because of how happy it makes me.

#1: Chicken Nuggets

If you disagree here, I just don't know what to tell you. Chicken nuggets are easily the MOST superior chicken variety. They're so good. I'm constantly craving chicken nuggets. Want to be friends? Bring me chicken nuggets and I will do anything for you. We're besties now. I think of chicken nuggets a minimum of twice a day and could easily eat them every 20 minutes, if my stomach let me. I will say it flat out: If you don't like chicken nuggets, I just don't trust you (unless you're allergic or vegetarian or something, I won't judge your eating habits). But seriously, I could talk for hours about chicken nuggets and wouldn't hesitate to fight you on why they 110% deserve first place. Not just on my list, but on everyone's.

(I miss dinosaur chicken nuggets :( They really started my chicken addiction.)

That's it! Chicken is so versatile (eat a nugget every time I said "versatile" in this) and can be made so many ways. If you're not a fan of chicken, I just don't get it.

What's your favorite chicken? And if you disagree with something I said, let's talk and I'd love to prove you wrong :)