It's crazy how critical someone can be of ones own work. I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist... usually I try my best to complete the given task and if it's not perfect, its at least good enough for my standards. But with art, for some reason I have been very critical about what I produce. I recently completed piece 1/15 if my AP art portfolio and I found myself constantly frustrated that the final product didn't live up to my expectations. Last year, I had much lower expectations for myself because it was my first year taking an AP class and I was expecting a lower passing score on the exam. However, the score that I got exceeded my expectations by a lot. So this year, I have been struggling to live up to last year's score. The problem with getting a perfect score your first year is that there's no room to improve statistically. You can improve in actual skill, but there's no way to document it numerically. On my most recent work, I must have spent at least 30 hours on it in total. By the time I finished it, I was so sick and tired of the constant painting for 3-5 hours at a time daily that I couldn't imagine starting my next one the following day. It is like an endless cycle of sketching and painting until May arrives and you have to send in your portfolio. This whole thing is very negative and seems like I'm being forced to do art even though I hate it, but the truth is I really do love art and I believe that everyone has at least some complaints about the thing they love. People who play basketball get frustrated if they have a bad game, people who perform on Broadway get sick of dancing all the time, people who skateboard get frustrated if they can't get a trick right. I love painting. When I don't paint, I miss it. I hope that someday, I can just paint for fun without a due date and just practice what I love without any pressures to make it perfect.
** my most recent painting 
I totally know what you mean Zoey. Sometimes you get trapped in the spiral of working and your creativity can feel strained. It's ok to take little breaks and I know the deadline can feel stressful but don't let it make you hate working. The most important thing in art is to love working, not necessarily the product but the actual process. And let me just tell you, your pieces are so amazing and you're going to do great this year!
ReplyDeleteVery true. Sometimes its hard to live up to what we consider in our own minds. It is very important that when you have a hobby, you try not to take it so seriously so that it doesn't become a chore. Good luck in the art!
ReplyDeleteI agree having a hobby and a skill is very important and can change lives because of the amount of enjoyment you get from it.
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