"I Don't Miss It" by Tracy K. Smith
After a breakup, the loneliness that follows is a painful experience that leaves many hollow. In “I Don’t Miss It”, Tracy K. Smith reminisces on an old relationship and the many feelings she felt both before and after the breaking up period. The way it’s told reads like a beautiful novel, with a clear beginning, middle, and sorrowful ending.
Smith begins the poem with the lines “But sometimes I forget where I am, Imagine myself inside that life again”, feeling often that she forgets what time she lives in and remembers a life of memories with her lover. However, readers are quickly shown that this relationship of hers wasn’t indeed so great. She reminds herself that on “Recalcitrant mornings” there is “Sun perhaps, Or more likely colorless light”, showing readers that this was a dull relationship, empty of color and life, furthered by imagery in the following stanzas that allow readers to see into her mind and recognize the boredom she felt.
She continues on that’d she wait for signs of life from her significant other, waiting on the couch just to hear the keys turn in the door, anticipating their return. Though it’s clearly evident that she’s bored and no longer feeling vibrant feelings of affection towards her significant other, she ends the poem on a note of loneliness and desperation, feeling that it’s “It’s impossible not to want [t]o walk into the next room and let [them] [r]un [their] hands down the sides of [her]legs, Knowing perfectly well what they know.”
I think this may be one of my favorite poems thus far that Smith has written. Though she has many about current socio political issues, and other small anecdotes of her life, this one feels so raw with emotion and I love how vulnerable it feels to read. The way it’s written as if to show “I don’t miss this looming sense of boredom and loneliness”, but instead shows that “Sometimes, I do miss you after all, even if I don’t miss our relationship itself.” It feels real and I find that so incredibly breathtaking to be able to read. I personally experienced the loss of several toxic friends throughout the years and sometimes I really miss those friends, even if the actual time I spent being friends with them was exhausting and painful. It hit close to home, I suppose, and it was easier to connect with this poem and its breakdown than it had been for me reading other works Smith has written. I feel as though I initially starkly misunderstood poetry as a genre, for the vulnerability poets put into their work is simply magnificent.
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